Responsibilities

"Mother, I want that little kitty," ask me while I'm pointing my hand toward the little cat inside the glass box at the pet shop.

"No." reply mother without any hesitation.

"Please, I can take care of it."

"No." Again, without any moment of though.

"Then what can I do so I can keep it?"

"Good question. " And we walk to supermarket inside the area where they sell flower's seed.

"How about we make a deal?"

"Deal?"

"I give you the chance to pick any seed that you like. If you manage to raise a flower until it blooms, then you can take the pet that you like, deal?"

"Alright! You better keep your promise!"

"Okay, I will."

So I picked the sunflower seed.

At first, I bury the seed on the ground. "Now bloom!"

Mother shaking her head. "A flower can't bloom quickly."

"What should I do?"

"You need to water it."

So I water the seed. 3 days later, a small sprout emerged.

"I did it!"

"I can see the improvement."

I put lots of water to make it bloom quickly! But suddenly the sprout wilted.

"Why it's wilted?!"

"Because you're giving too much water."

Again, I bury the seed and water it. when the sprout come, I giving it less water than usual. The sprout is growing but it's color changing to yellow and died out.

"Not again!!"

"You give water too little."

"Mother, I had enough! This isn't going anywhere! I don't want to do this anymore!!!"

"How can you keep a pet if you can't even manage the simple living thing like this sunflower?"

"What?"

"You have to take more responsibilities when you taking care of small animal than a flower. They are a living thing, not a toy that you can play with."

"...."

After that, I dismissed the idea of wanting a pet.

From then on, I realize the weight of taking care of life and the responsibilities that I must shoulder.

Today's dream: Alarm clock's revenge

Here come another things that I dreamed yesterday morning. That day, I have class at 8 am, so I need to wake up early.

KRRRRRIIIIINGGGG

As the usual morning, my alarm is ringing as usual.

KKKKKRRRRRIIIIIIIINNNNGGGGGGG

But this time, this noise really bothers me. So I hit it's head and said, "Shut up."

"You told me to shut up?"

Huh?

"You TOLD me to SHUT UP?"

What's with this alarm clock?

"How DARE you to told me to SHUT UP!!"

Angry with what it said, I reply, "Shut up."

"Fine, you do that, I won't wake you up!! (Running while bring all it's thing) I WON'T WAKE YOU UP ANYMORE!!" And it runs to it's parent's house (This is a dream, remember?)

And the next thing I know, it's 10 am....

Tale of princess Farah *The star of your dream again*

Once upon a time

There was a Princess named Farah, who is currently on a castle, waiting to be saved

Farah: Yes!! Save me!!

She wants to get off from the castle because nobody is in there

Farah: Mhm, mhm,

Because they scared of her

Farah: *Smack!* Cut that out! What am I, a bad person?!

*Bzzt* Because she is taken from an unknown place

Farah: Great. *Keeping her boxer gloves*

One day, a wanderer come to the castle

Farah: A handsome guy?

No, a beautiful woman whose name is Maryam

Farah: You?! What are you doing in my story?!!

I'm the one who narrate it, give me a credit, sis

Farah: Fine, you're in. But don't forget to add handsome guy.

The wanderer then enter the castle, seeing only a princess wearing shabby clothes with a messy hair

Farah: Why are you describing me in horrible situation!!!

The story need to be realistic

Farah: *Smack!!* Isn't this comedy?!!!

*Bzzt* *Bzzt* The wanderer then enter the castle, seeing only a princess wearing beautiful clothes with a shiny straight hair

Farah: Yes, that's me.

The wanderer seeing such an unbelievable situation, began asking the princess

Maryam: Is this your castle?

Farah: Yes it is! *making a pretty face*

Maryam: Wow, it's so messy, how long you haven't clean it up?

Farah: Are you talking about the mess in our room right now?

Maryam: ..... Ehem ehem ehem.....

Farah: *SMACK* DON'T INVOLVE OUR MESSY ROOM, DAMMIT!!

Maryam: *bleeding nose(fake)* But I'm just a wanderer, who commenting your castle

Farah: *SMACK* YOU ALSO INVOLVE IN THIS MESS!!!!

Thus, the tale is ended by the wanderer clean up her messy castle

Farah: Do it neatly!!

Maryam: Yes, sis.

Waiting for another tale unfold by princess Farah

Farah: Yay! a continution!!

Traffic jam.

There was once where I ride my car in a very heavy traffic jam. I'm stuck at one place for a long time and worse, the car always trying to enter my lane.

It is very stressful, especially toward the people who didn't even give a chance for me to move.

I even had a bad though about them and wanting to curse them (don't worry, I don't).

But one day, I though that the situation where the drivers are compete with each other for the lane are quite similar to the survival of the fittest situation, and made me wonder is this our nature?

Once I though that this kind of action is wrong, I let the car that greedily wanting to take my lane passed through me. I just don't want to act greedy.

Slowly, the traffic now move more smoothly and I arrived at my destination earlier than I expected. With just a simple act, I have reduced the traffic problem.

Coincidentally, someone also had though the same thing, and I also agree with what he said.

Overall, what you give you get.

My review on Shadow of the colossus

One day, when I was online (I'm on my vacation, right after back from Korea), I began to feel like playing game. I search for the top old game in ps2 (good glorious age of 3d game). It was then I happened to find Shadow of the colossus.  

I don't know if this game is fun to play, so I look at the rating. The rating is okay, and then I look more, it got the rating for the game that can leave you feeling. But at the same time, I happened to find this game also got underrated by some people.

so I look at the intro.

Alright, I have decided to play this game.

-2 days later-

Oh my god..... I'm crying.....

I felt like watching some legendary work by Studio Ghibli but in more mature level.

but when I show it to my bro, he said this is not fun. Thus I can concluded that this game is amazing but only for some people.

Well, it doesn't matter, as long I feel this game is amazing to me.

Somewhere in time...

listening to this song makes me in tears. I can't think how preciously the moment we have when hearing/listening/perceiving something that can really touch/move the heart. And when it ends, we would be sad because it's over.

However, the beauty of it is the moment we have to listen to it. It is something that we should never forget, and never to regret in spending it.

Some people might saying what the heck am I talking about, but it does not really matter (I'm not mad you know) because for this moment, I want you and I to appreciate every moment in your life and fill it with what you will never regret....  (The good thing, not bad thing)

fanfic fallout 3 (from my imagination)

Woot, woot, I'm Fallout 3 fans. Right now I got an idea to make new story about the people in apocalypse world. hope you enjoy.

...................................................................................................................................................................

In a small abandoned building, there's two guy who live inside. they are the scavenger that doesn't belong to any guild, but they live with the orders from their clients whom they haven't met face to face but by through radio.

Their life is simple, but they are quite renown for their skill. until one day...

*Hello, Dirty Dogs? over?* says the voice in the radio that one tall guy answer it.

He push a button and answer the radio "Dirty Dogs here, Client?"

*Oh yes, it's me, remember?* says the man in the radio. He sounds like a chinese man who work in business.

"Negative." And he tries to close the radio, but

*Wait a sec, I have two news.* and he hold his button *One is good and one is bad, which you want?*

"Good."

*Great, one is Dirty Dogs is now recognised by the Wasteland.*

"Really? Hey mate!" shout him toward his sleeping mate. "The Wasteland now know us! We get famous!"

*And the bad thing is... somebody hire a Hyena to kill you guys.*

"Wait, WHAT!!!??"

*It's true, because he just go after I tell them where you guys are.*

"WHY ARE YOU TELLING HIM???!!!"

*He point me a gun, you expect me to be silent? Anyway, it's been so long, so goodbye.(click)*

"Shit! Hey get up!" and he ready to pack his weapon.

"I am," and he packing up all his comic books, vault clothes and many more clean water.

Slap! A slap from his tall friend landed on his face "Do you think we're on vacation?! Take all the weapons, mate!"

"Oh come on," and he shrugged his head."My gun is broke, and i don't have any other weapon, so why not bring others?"

"Come on, you said? This is Hyena! The smart and dirty assassin! If he landed his eyes on us, I don't know what to do!"

"Ok, ok," and he waved both of his hand to surrender.

"Good." and he gives him 2 bomb. "Take this, this is our secret weapon against this guy. Don't waste it, it's the only thing we have."

"Don't worry, i got this, pal."

"I give you my hope on ya, mate."

3 hours later.....

"All ready, mate?"

"All ready pal,"

And they running with all their might, not looking back to their hideout.

They run and run and run.

Until a long while, "Hey, mate." said the tall man.

"Ain't we got 2 bomb, where is it now?"

"....." still running.

"......." both of them still running.

".........."

"Quit your silence." and he give a kick to his mate "Where is the bomb?"

"I placed it in the place where the Hyena should be arrive."

"Where?" and his eyes squinted more toward his mate.

"Inside the head of the doll in our house and outside the window."

"Fool!!!" shout him. his blood is boiling with his mate's action.

"That's the only thing we can counterattack him! What are we going to do? Pray that he kick that doll out of anger and run out the window for safety?!"

BLAMMMMM!!!!!

BABLLLAAAM!!!!!!

And two blast come out from their hiding.

"..........." Both of them become silent.

"I didn't know god answer our prayer."

"I didn't know he really kick that doll."

"What did you do with that doll until he kick it?"

"Well, I paste the word 'this is a bomb, kick it' but i didn't know he was that stupid..."

"Ok, you're a genius, mate."

"Really?"

"Yeah, so let's go and find our new hideout, mate."

My wife is acting weird

“Leman, she will be your wife.” Said mother toward a woman in front of me.

I can’t believe my eyes. She has eyes that giving murder intent!!

“(whisper) psst! Mother! That woman is scary!”

“Huh? What are you talking about? Look again, isn’t she lovely?”

And I look at her again. This time she looks lovely. Is that my imagination?

“Leman, you are having problem in your eyes, next time wears the spectacles, got it?”

“…yes mom…”

Maybe I do have bad eyesight, but I can’t forget that menacing look….

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………

“hua…” I yawn while cover my mouth. But I’m still sleepy. Well, of course I’m still sleepy, it’s not even dawn yet. I walk to the window and open it up to look at the small ‘garden’ that has been raised carefully.

But compared to me who just woke up, she already ploughed the small ‘garden’ that she has raised.

“oh, you have woke up?” said my wife, Dayah who still planting potato seed without even looking at me.

“wife…” said me in monotone.

“say it louder, I can’t hear you.” And she keep planting the potato.

“you’re the wife of the minister of Raja, don’t do the work of the commoner.”

And she look at me straight into my eyes. “you’re just among the lower level of minister, don’t be so full of yourself.”

Allah! She said it very straight! Can’t she say it in more subliminal way?!

“besides, I want to eat what I have raised in my garden.”

“then, the chicken that I have bought…”

“you give it to somebody else. I don’t want to eat it.”

Why? Why?? WHY???

Why you don’t want to eat things that I have bought you? Even the last time when I want to bought her something, she doesn’t want it! why??

And I look at her angrily.

She gave me a sharp look “what?”

That sharp and menacing look give me fear. All the anger that I have gone like it never exist and be replaced 

with fear “no… nothing dear…” and I look away from her. “then, I go to work…”

“take care then.” And she continue to work in her garden.

I am not fit to be a man…. I can’t even dare to fight her….

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………

“I tell you Leman, you should never marry her.” Said minister Sakti.

“But, she’s the person my mother wants me to marry before.”

“your mom is dead now, so divorce her.”

“s-still…”

“come on, why you still want to be with that kind of brute woman? don’t you remember what she has done to me and other minister months ago?”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Months ago

 Many ministers are making gathering for the meeting in my house. We want to discuss about the raise of taxes among the citizen.

But….

“I tell you, Leman. Young woman is the best!” said minister Sakti with please face. “someday I’m gonna divorce the old wife that I have!”

“but minister Sakti… about the taxes…”

“oh come on! Stop talking about that!” said the other minister.

 “yeah, the discussion is over!”

“we will raise the tax! Period!”

I understand what they mean, but still, “they also need money like us, we can’t raise them just as we like…”

“what are talking!? We just do what we have to do?! It is their job to keep up with the taxes given.”

“oh, wait, maybe Leman mean something.” Said other minister.

“I see Leman, you want to join our circle, huh?” and they grinned at me.

Seeing their grin, I can’t help but to ask “what do you mean?”

“well, Leman, to follow us, you need to do a favour-“

“I’m sorry sir, but all of you have to leave for tonight.” Said Dayah while she come without giving a warning.

“Dayah?”

“woman,” said minister, “we are having an important discussion, please go away.”

“but all of you are having fun right now don’t you?” said Dayah without even flinch.

“damn you woman! go to the kitchen and bring us something to drink!” said the minister.

“unfortunately, in our house we don’t have that ‘haram’ water that can make people drunk like what you 

ministers have always love to drink.” And she reply them back with a grin in her face.

Hearing that, the minister get up. “tch, what’s with that woman. forget it, I want to go back home.” And they walk away from the house.

“that’ll do some lesson.” Said Dayah.

“Dayah… what have you done..?”

“me? I-“

“You have lost my chance to do my work! Don’t you see that!?”

“….” Dayah didn’t say anything.

“now what should I do when I meet them? My status as a minister… I might not be able to even get a raise…”

“so you also just like them?” and then she sigh.

“huh?”

“nothing.”

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Yeah if I recalled back, that’s when she starting to raise the garden at our house, and refuse to take what I give to her. She’s acting very weird since then.

“poor you, “ said minister Sakti. “your wife is acting cold to you, it must be hard. I understand it well.”

“oh, no…”

“no, it’s alright. I think it’s time for you to join our circle.”

“your circle?”

“at the evening, meet me at the port. I will show you something good.”

What does the minister mean by that?

So I come to the port at the evening. There are not many local that live here except foreign merchant. But as I not mistaken, we have nothing to do here as a minister, why do we have to come here?

“here you are.” Said minister Sakti.

“minister, i…”

“don’t say anything. Let’s go in.”

“in? you mean this big ship?” as me while pointing a big ship.

“yep. People are waiting for us, you know.”

“w-who?” ask me as I still in wonder.

But he get in without even looking at me.

“welcome, Minister Sakti!” said a small man with happy face.

Minister Sakti reply him “yes, thank you. Is everyone arrive?”

“yes they are! and who is the man behind you? He looks so herbivore!”

 Does he mean me?

“yes, he even being ‘queen controlled’ you know.”

“aiya, that is bad. You should come here!” and he welcoming us inside the dock.

Inside the dock, all the windows is shut but it still light inside because of the lamp. The inside is large and 

filled with lots of room. This place is also smelled like… perfume?

“and now, please come inside this VIP room!” say the man as he open the door.

“HELLO MASTER!!” shout the beautiful girls while they welcoming us.

“allah! What is this place?!” shout me as I am very puzzled right now.

“come on now. Just get inside and enjoy.” Said minister Sakti with joy “ wait for me girls!”

“Wait minister Sakti! Don’t you know what this is?!”

“of course I know. That’s why I want you to do something.”

“what do you mean?”

“you’re a minister that can give the citizenship to these people. So please, Leman, please give these girls citizenship so they can live here.”

“and open a shop where they can work like in this ship?”

“precisely! I know you are a smart person. And when you do that, you will join into our circle and live luxury like a raja.”

Suddenly I understand why Dayah chase him and other minister out of the house. He and the others are 

trying to bribe me to do dirty work. But I very ignorantly thinking to build my relationship with them. No 

wonder she treat me coldly.

“well, Leman? What do you say?”

“no.”

“what?”

“this is wrong, minister Sakti. As a muslim, drink and prostitution is illegal.”

“then what do you want to do?”

“I will report this to Raja.”

“hah? Hahahahaha!! You must be joking.” Said him while laughing. “even his prince come here occasionally, and you expect him to come and take action?!”

“I have to do what I have to do as a minister.”

And he become silent. “what a shame.” And then he point his hand outside “do it. you will finish your career as a minister, and at that time, I can’t help you to work in the palace anymore.”

And I walk out away from that place. At that time I really believe what I am doing is right.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………

At home, Dayah is eating rice with vegetables that she grew. Then I open the door slowly to see her eating the food with her hand.

Dayah then notice me “you come early today.” She stop eating and raise up “I’ll make some-“

“Dayah…”

“hmm?” and she turned around.

“I’m sorry.”

Then she clean her hand and come near me. “for what?”

“I …”

“tell me everything.”

And I tell her everything that happened between me and minister. And how I take my action to tell Raja about that  but ended up being fired from my position as a minister by Raja.

 “now all the things we have, from land to this house will be taken away. We have to moving out soon…”

“good.”

“what?” surprised me as Dayah said like that.

“it’s good that you make the right decision to reject them. I have known about the corruption in the palace a long time ago. They have done so many things illegally that the money that you earned can be considered haram.”

“but we lose everything.”

“nah, we still have our small garden. If we sold these vegetables we can earn some money and even make some trading with the merchant. It’s not the end of the world yet.”

“so that’s why you planted vegetables and don’t want to take anything I give you?”

“no, I just don’t want to soil new blood with the corrupted money.”

“then you…”

“yeah, I’m pregnant.”

“….” I can’t say anything. “you’re so amazing… and you know so many things.”

“before I got married, I learned many thing and read a lot of book. And then I learned about the corruption in the palace, so I refused to marry with anyone who work with the palace. But then, when I met you, I can’t believe you’re such an herbivore.”

“herbivore…”

“I mean, you don’t even want to look at me straight in the eyes, you scared to say anything and you even try your best to please others but not yourself, that I can’t help but want to help you. And the rest as you know, we become husband and wife.”

“hahaha…” I can’t help but laugh at myself. I’m such a wimp.

“chill out, let move out from here and start a new life. I teach you how to sell vegetables.”

“yes dear.”

The end of revenge

The old witch is standing in front of his summoning area. He is satisfied with his witchcraft that he has been created to summon the dark being.

He then look behind him, satisfied with his prize that he worked for.

with everything that is ready, he take a deep breath and shout "come forth! dark lord Azela!"

The floor is shaken, changing its dimension into darkness that release the dark being that has being waiting to emerge itself. The cold sweat comes out from his bald head, seeing his summoning witchcraft is a success.

Now the dark lord has come out, ready to listen to his reason to awake him from his slumber.

"I have summon you to listen to my request! Your prize is here!" and he going behind him to get his prize.

The dark lord focus both of his eyes look at the girl, chained, without any expression to tell from her figure.

"Listen dark lord! I have brought you the fallen princess Vassillia, who is the daughter of the King Belius, the man who my previous lord, Cantel who you give power to answer his wish to kill and take over his country!"

And the dark lord fixed his look at the girl who still not changed his expression. His instinct tells him that there is something more than this.

"Therefore! I will give you-"

"My country."

"Huh!?" The old witch turned his face toward the girl with a surprised face. He can't believe with what he has heard.

"In return for fulfilling my revenge, I will give you my country who has cause all this anger of my heart."

"What nonsense are you trying to-"

"I accept."

And he take a sword from his dimension and give a quick slash to the old witch without even giving him a blink. The blood splatters around, and his body falling apart and fell from such quick attack.

She feels afraid after seeing such power. Still, she keep her gaze to hold on to her determination.

He then destroy the chain that bind her. Now her hands are free.

"My lady," And she look back at him.

"In return for fulfilling your wish, I asked you to fulfill my wish later." and he kneel down before her and take her right hand and kissed it.

Determine with her choice, she answer it

"I accept it."

...................................................................................................................................................................

The dawn has come, and the daylight shine the land and chase away the darkness of the night.

However, today the night does not go away, as the thousands of the soldiers and monster commanded by the Dark Lord Azela flies and swarm the land to annihilate the inhabitants.
...................................................................................................................................................................

"Wah!"

"HELP!!"

"KYAA!!"

Shouts the people as they attacked and run away from the monsters.

"ROOAAARRR!!!" A cry from a fire dragon shakes the city as it flies.

"Goodness!!" Shout one of the wounded soldier. "THAT DRAGON IS TRYING TO INVADE THE CASTLE!!"

Inside the castle, the knights run toward the king in his chamber "MY KING!!"

"Knights! What is that thundering sound!?" Said him as he is just wear his clothes.

"A dragon tries to flies to the castle!"

"WHAT!? Nonsense! There are many barrier, there's no way that can be happening!"

"It's not just a dragon, a thousands of monster is coming and attack this country..."

"Nonsense!" and he walks to his main hall throne.

"Where are you going my king?" ask the knight as he follows him.

"Where? I want to see it with my own eyes, FOOLS!"

"No your majesty! We have to run right now!!"

But its too late.

CRASH!!! The roof is falling down, and the dragon is falling together with it.

"NGAUUUMMM!!!" The dragon cries very hard as it landed safely.

"KNIGHTS!!" shout the men. "PROTECT THE KING!!!" and they form a barrier to protect the king.

As they shield and watch the dragon, the dragon look at them while lowering its head. A person come out after riding the dragon.

"!! It's Princess Vassilia!"

"No way!"

"How an that be!?"

The knights are in an awe as they can't believe with what they have saw.

The king, however, have a very angry look as he has known what has really happen.

"KNIGHTS!!!" Shout the king "Kill that woman! That is a witch using the princess's face trying to lower your guards!!"

Hearing the king's order, they raise their swords and attack her all at once.

"OOOHHH!!!" And here they come swinging their sword as high and might to finish this witch only to be attacked with strong fire magic castes by the witch.

The strong army of knights are now fallen with flames and ashes, leaving the king, alone, shaking in fear.

"I..." He now have a very frightening look as he knows his ending "I WON'T LET IT END LIKE THIS!!!" and he cast a very strong thunder magic and attack her with all his might "DIE YOU WITCH!!!"

"No." She hold the magic thunder in her hands "It is you who will die." and hold his head with the magic, giving him the very strong shock that he never imagine. He moans and struggle until the magic is gone and he has burned to crisp.

At the same time, a loud shout coming from far away makes her to turn around to see the person who shout. She release her hand and he runs toward the king and cries as he holding the dead body.

It is a young prince, who grieve the death of his father who died in a very terrible way. Seeing him, she reminded with herself who also grieves her father's death and be taken by the men who killed her father and be offered as a sacrifice.

Thus she made a decision not to end another poor life who has the same tragedy as her. She give him her back and walk away with a satisfaction in her heart as she believes she has done her revenge.

SLASH!!! A deep slashing cut has been heard.

She turned around to see The Dark Lord Azela has slain the young prince without any mercy!

"Dark Lord Azela! Why you end his life?! My revenge has ended!"

"You have said that your anger is caused by this country, not by this man."

"But you don't have to end his life."

"Are you trying to change our promise?"

Shocked by his word, she realise she has done something that cannot be changed.

"Once the contract has been made, one shall never change the agreement or face its consequences."

CRASH!! the wall of the main throne has destroyed, making the outside world visible.

And she cannot believe with what she has seeing. Outside, there is no living being that is saved except the monsters who are waiting for their commands. Seeing this, there is no doubt that the country now has no any human being that lived.

 "I have fulfilling your wish, now it is time for my wish." and he reach his hand toward her. "Be my queen, my lady."

Seeing his hand, she has now realise the consequences of her action has totally annihilate everything just as she has wished for. She has now become the monster who are feared and hated by the mankind. Thus, she made her choice.

She hold his hand and said "I Accept it."

when arrow of love hit you

Have you ever fell in love out of nowhere?

Do you ever fall in love at the fist sight?

This sure is sound so cheesy as it coming from me.

"Jill!!"

people look at me as I shout out loud in the office. That newcomer Jill now coming with her scaredy face.

"Yes Ms. Lucy?"

" this paperwork is no good, redo it all over again."

"All of it?"

"Did you not listen what I said?"

"n-no, I do it all..." and she walk away. The people look at her pitifully and look at me like i'm a witch. As if! I'm just wanting her to redo the things, and she overreact for such a small thing! Just because she's young and beautiful, all of you acting like I am like a stepmother who treat Cinderella badly.

I still feeling irritated from this.

Right now I am walking out from the subway, finishing work, and still irritated from that little girly Jill!

Damn it! The more I am thinking of her, the more I became to hate everything.

Now now Lucy, you are calm right now, don't think about it. just have some... and I look at my right, right, a coffee.

"thank you very much" and I come out from the cafe buying a coffee. I am walking while holding a coffee with my right hand. Yes, things will get much better with a coffee and.... I look at my left, yes, a dinner is necessary.

"Have a good day." and I come out from the restaurant buying me a grilled black pepper fish. Mmm, this sure is tasty for tonight, while watching The little Mermaid, no I have watch that a thousand times, it's time for The lion King. Hakuna matata.

Now god love to hit the arrow of love to your heart anytime, out of nowhere. Again, I know, this is very cheesy coming from me.

But can you imagine you, the hard working office lady who doesn't want to do with any relationship and just wants to focus on her work life suddenly having a very loud heartbeat when looking at a crying man while holding a coffee with your right hand and grilled black pepper fish on your left hand? I tell you, this is very awkward!!!

And now he looks at me, wondering why I just stood still in front of him.

"can I help you?"

WOW! those words shook me! "oh, you're hungry, right? I have a coffee and grilled fish. have this for your dinner!"

"But I.."

"no! it's okay, in fact, I need to go now! just take it and have a good day! bye!" and I dash with all my might back to my own apartment. This is very crazy.

Lucy.... What have you done...? You lost your dinner and you lost your compose. why am I suddenly acting that way? That night, I sleep without eating anything. That fish is quite expensive...

"Ms Lucy..."

" yes?"

"This is the paperwork, I have redo it all."

"oh, thank you."

"is something wrong?"

"nah, nothing wrong."

"really? somehow you look like you hadn't eaten anything."

somehow she suddenly acting nice, it makes me feel uncomfortable. "oh it's nothing, really"

"alright then." and she goes away.

I can't think of anything. I am so hungry. Not just I lost my dinner, I even forgot to go groceries to fill my fridge. Worse, I'm late for work.

Lucy, what have you done!

Sigh, when the work is done I finally can have a meal.

I got out of the busy subway and he coincidentally standing outside the subway.

"oh you are here."

I... I have no idea what to say.

"thank you for what you did yesterday, please let me buy you a dinner."

No, I can't go with him. I have to settle the matter with my fridge, I have to finish my set of Disney movies, and most importantly, I have to settle my growling stomach.

"Yes."

WAIT A MINUTE! WHAT DID I SAY?!

"oh, thank you for accepting it, my name is Jack."

superwoman

Right now I am inspired with this song.

It's giving me ideas that we are just human and need to be always consider to others and we have to be strong no matter how weak you are.

It is impressive that a song can tell a story that can be related with our life, but what impress me the most is the way the song is told not through sad tone, but in strong tone to show how strong a woman are when facing the sadness.

I will include the lyric to understand it better.

Lyric:

Early in the morning I put breakfast at your table
And make sure that your coffee has its sugar and cream
Your eggs are over easy, your toast done lightly
All that's missing is your morning kiss that use to greet me

Now you say the juice is sour
It used to be so sweet
And I can't help but to wonder
If you're talking 'bout me

We don't talk the way we used to talk
It's hurting so deep
I've got my pride, I will not cry
But it's making me weak

I'm not your superwoman
I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down
And think that everything's okay
Boy, I am only human
This girl needs more than occasional hugs
As a token of love from you to me, ooh, baby

I fought my way through the rush hour
Trying to make it home just for you
I want to make sure that your dinner
Will be waiting for you

But when you get there you just tell me
You're not hungry at all
You said you'd rather read the paper
And you don't want to talk

You'd like to think I'm just crazy
When I say that you've changed
I'm convinced I know the problem
You don't love me the same

You're just going through the motions
And you're not being fair
I've got my pride, I will not cry
Still I can't help but care

I'm not your superwoman
I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down
And think that everything's okay
Boy, I am only human
This girl needs more than occasional hugs
As a token of love from you to me

I'm not your superwoman
I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down
And think that everything's okay
Boy, I am only human
This girl needs more than occasional hugs
As a token of love from you to me

Ooh baby, look into the corners of your mind
I'll always be there for you through good and bad times
But I can't be that superwoman that you want me to be
I'll give my love, oh, lasting love if you'll return love to me

I'm not your superwoman
I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down
And think that everything's okay
Boy, I am only human
This girl needs more than occasional hugs
As a token of love from you to me

Ah ha, if you feel it in your heart
And you understand me
Stop right where you are
Everybody sing along with me

I'm the kind of girl that can treat you so sweet
But you've got to realize
That you've got to be sweeter to me
I need love, I need just your love

I'm not your superwoman
I'm not the kind of girl that you can let down
And think that everything's okay
Boy, I am only human
This girl needs more than occasional hugs
As a token of love from you to me

source: Karyn White - Superwoman Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

The circle of life

Lightning has come.

The forest is burning.

Many creature has fallen except the land.

The soil does not burn but it goes black.

Time is passing, the wind still blows, and the sky still rains.

The land is still dead, until a sprout come.

Slowly, the land filled with grass and the bugs inhabited the land.

The spores and seeds stuck in their body and they spread the seed.

More and more bugs filled the land and small animals inhabited the land.

They eat the bugs and dig the seeds to store their food.

The seed sprouted and a small tree grew.

The plant, bugs and small animal live together in the land.

More and more animals live in land and the bigger animals inhabited the land.

This time, some big animals eat the small animals and some live with them.

They live together and balance the life of the land.

And the land revived with every being existence.

up and down

up and down

up and down

up and down

I love going up

I hate going down

when I jump, I want to reach the top

but I falling down, and I don't like it

so I jump again, again and again

and then I reach the top, but it was so short

I fell down harder, it hurts so much

I don't want to stop, I want go on

my time is running out, must put it all!

my friend is coming, they ask me

what are you doing? it's not important

so I said, what I do to reach the top is important

KRRIIINNGGG!! the bell is ringing!!

time to go. Now I am satisfied

FULFILL PART 10 (MEMORIES OF ANA 3)

“this will sting a bit, but bear it a bit.” Kata jururawat sambil mencucuk jarum di lengan saya.

“don’t worry, I’m not scared of injection, miss Dorothea.” Balas saya dengan tenang.

Dan jururawat itu memberikan suntikan dengan ubat. Ubat yang mereka berikan ini adalah ubat yang masih lagi dalam ujian dari syarikat Fulfill. Dalam sepanjang proses pengambilan ubat ini, doctor Augnio dan jururawat Dorothea akan tinggal di Malaysia buat beberapa ketika untuk melihat perkembangan saya.

“are you scared, miss Anna?” Tanya Dr. Augnio dengan nada serius. Dr. Augnio dan cik Dorothea mestinya risau dengan keadaan saya walaupun mereka tahu saya dah mengambil keputusan untuk menjadi pesakit yang mencuba ubat mereka.

“I am scared, but this is better than doing nothing.”

“….” Dr. Augnio memandang saya sambil berfikir. “very well, take this.” dan dia memberikan saya satu pil.

“just have a good night sleep with this.”

Saya terus menelan pil tersebut dan mula rasa mengantuk.

Cik Dorothea menyelimutkan saya dan berkata “sleep well, Anna…” tetapi kata-kata dia menjadi pudar kerana saya mula tak dapat mengawal ngantuk saya.

“…….can…… make…. It …..?”

“she……compati…..”

“…….”

…………………….

Di dalam tidur saya, saya nampak segalanya kosong. Di dalam kekosongan itu, ada satu bintik hitam tidak jauh dari pandangan mata saya. Saya mendekati bintik itu.

Bintik itu mula membesar menjadi sebiji bola hitam. Di saat saya menghampiri bola itu, saya merasa tidak selesa.

“!!!” saya terbangun dari mimpi saya saat saya merasa tidak selesa.

Fajar belum terbit pada masa itu, dan bilik saya masih gelap lagi, tapi saya rasa saya dah tidur dalam satu jangkamasa yang sangat pendek.

4 jam kemudian

“I see,”dan Dr. Augnio mencatat data dalam failnya “ and there is no other changes?”

Saya menggeleng dan berkata “nope.”

“it’s alright, it might be too early to see the effect of the medicine.”

“here’s your another injection.” Kata Cik Dorothea dengan memberikan saya satu lagi suntikan ubat.

“we will give you the last medicine  tonight, please rest for now.”

“Yes, miss Dorothea.”

Tapi tak lama lepas tu, saya tidur dan mimpi benda yang sama lagi.

?????

Saya dah mula nampak benda itu. Ia makin dekat dengan saya. Saya merasa tak selesa dan cuba menjauhi diri saya dari situ. Tapi tangan kiri saya bergerak dengan sendiri dan menyentuh benda itu.

Pada saat itu saya terjaga…..!

“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!”

Terkejut dengan jeritan saya, Cik Dorothea berlari menuju ke bilik saya “what’s wrong, Anna!!”

“TANGAN AKU!!! SAKIT!!!”

“what do you mean?”

“MY HAND!!! IT HURTS!!!”

Akhirnya Dr. Augnio datang dan saya diberikan ubat penenang. Selepas beberapa ketika saya boleh bertenang walaupun tangan saya masih sakit lagi.

Saya menggunakan tenaga yang masih tersisa lagi untuk bercakap “Dr….”

“yes, Anna?”

“please…. Give me softer bed….”

“what?”

“this bed…. Feels like barbed wire….. it hurts my hand…”

Important Advice

This taste bitter... but somehow i felt sweetness.

Though me as i taste mocha.

I hate coffee, but since this is the only kind of chocolate drink they sell in this store, why don't I give it a try?

saa.... the rain begin to pour. I shouldn't go out right now, but I will miss the bus.

Therefore, I run with all my might to the bus stop, believing that I will miss it at any moment.

And I arrive at the bus stop, but how sad. The bus will be coming for another half an hour....

Luckily, there's a resting place at this bus stop.

Then, I realize the seat is full except for the man who's talking for non-stop. He just talking about everything from nonsense to about his family. I don't think anyone's listening to him, since many people sit away from him.

But I don't have any place to sit, and it will be very awkward and tiring to stand up and wait for bus, so I decided to sit beside him.

Glare!

Uh-oh, our eyes met.

And as expected, he talking for non-stop.... but it will be very rude if I didn't listening to him... alright! Say whatever you want to say! Let me listen to you!

And he began to mutter the nonsense. I just reply with "uh hmm," and "Yes." until he said

"do you know that yesterday there's a crow and a pigeon? well, they fighting with each other just to shit on my clothes!!"

"ye... what!? ahahahahaha!!" I ended up laugh with his nonsense. Once I realize it, I quickly shut my mouth. But he keeps on talking.

Except, his words becoming more rational.

"then, near that store never sells chocolate! only coffee, coffee, and COFFEE!!"

"oh, about that sir, they now sells mocha!"

"really!!?"

"yeah!"

"that's great! I can bring my wife to taste that!! ......" and he becoming silent. "no, she won't come."

At that time, I know he has something that shouldn't be asked, so I be silent. But he

"my wife has been isolating herself.... she never wants to come out... since 'bogeyman' took her 'soul' ...."

"....." I can't say anything, but I can feel how painful it is through his words.

"worse, since then she becoming a 'corpse', and leave me behind, taking away anything i had...."

"..." there's nothing more I can say, but look at him.

He shut his mouth, and look at me straight in my eyes.

"you're a good person. I want to give you a very important advice. Please listen carefully."

"yes."

"no matter what, take care of yourself. This world is very dangerous."

"yes..."

"I don't want anything happen to you, you're a kind person. Please remember it."

"I will..."

Then, the bus is coming.

"I'm sorry, I have to go." and I stand up.

And he smile, "thank you..."

"bye bye." and I ride the bus while waving at him. the bus moving, and he's gone from my sight.

soon after that, I had known the man is having a mental problem, and he just can utter nothing rational aside from nonsense. I never seen him again.

But I believe our last conversation and his last advice to me is his words when he is still sane.

Farewell, Human.

When I was born,

The first thing that i saw with my both eyes is a human who lying down, looking at me while holding the sword.

And further miles inside that cave is a giant dragon, that died from the human.

Of course judging from the situation, that human has slain my mother and tries to slain me but died before he come to me. But I though that human is my mother, and I call it many times to wake it up.

That 'mother' never wake up.

And I am very hungry.

So I eat the big dragon to fill my hunger.

And stay beside 'mother' for a very long time.

Time passes, the food has run out, I have no other choice but to walk out of the cave, leaving the nest and 'mother'.

Outside the cave, I saw a wide view of valley, filled with forest and wild creatures that I never seen.

All I can see at that time is food everywhere I goes. I eat whatever I found and I drink as much as I can in so I wont be hungry again.

Once i filled my hunger, I stay inside the cave and be with my 'mother'.

After long time, that 'mother' eventually becoming bones, and then just leave traces of its existence.

 It was then I realize that 'mother' I have stay for a very long time have leave me.

 'mother' leave me.I felt very sad.

I goes out of the cave and cry out loud.

'mother' ! Where are you!

'mother' ! don't leave me!

But it was all in vain. 'mother' never heard my cry.

It was very lonely.

Until I met Lowe.

Lowe is a young male 'mother', who got lost in the forest.

Lowe is weak. He scared of me the first time he met me.

I am so happy that time because I met 'mother' although this 'mother' looks quite different than I remembered.

Once Lowe realise I won't harm him, he walk away from me.

All I did from that moment is just following him.

"what are you doing?! stop following me!!" shout Lowe as he's angry at me.

I was very impressed because he make a very different cry than what I always do.

so that's why 'mother' can't hear me, though me as I hear his shouting more.

In the end, Lowe bring me to a village and hide me inside a big storage.

But not long after that, the village chief found out about me.

Lowe is punished with a cane because of me. "DON'T HURT LOWE!!" I shout to them by mimicking the cry Lowe once made before.

The villagers was very surprise of me and change their treatment toward me and Lowe.

"you can talk?" ask Lowe as he is very surprised.

only that one time. But since then, Lowe treat me as his precious friend.

Eventually, I can master the cry that is known as 'talk'.

Not long after that, Lowe grown and becoming a man.

"Drago." that is the name Lowe always called me. "let's get out of the village and travel together."

I didn't really understand why Lowe said that to me. Isn't the village is comfortable to live with? Why bother to leave?

Still, I followed him and together we left the village.

Lowe and I travels a lot and see so many things and met so many 'mother's.

Soon, we become well known, and being summoned by the king, just to meet me.

Surprisingly enough, the king wants Lowe to live with him by becoming a king and marry his daughter.

Finally Lowe settle down and becoming a king.

Things going well until Lowe gets old and die of old age.

I began to realize that these 'mother' I have known was not my real mother, but a being that should be known as 'human' and I am not the same kind as them.

No, maybe I have known for long ago but I never acknowledge it until Lowe's death.

But then, what am I?

Where is others that like me?

And that is why I have made my decision.

"you're going to leave this palace?" ask the young prince, who is Lowe's grandchildren.

" I have live for a very long time thinking that I am a 'human'. I am never belong in this place, young prince." reply me while lying down to look at this very small child.

"my body have grown immensely, the palace might can't hold me. And what's more, Lowe is gone. I have no other reason to stay with 'human'."

"But where will you go?"

"Wherever, I have a very long lifespan to spend, young prince." and I walk out to the large field in the palace. I opened my wing, ready to flight.

"I will miss you." said the prince.

I can't help but happy with his word.

"Farewell, human." and I fly with all my might without ever turning back.

today's dream: tsukkomi and boke

boke

From the verb bokeru 惚ける or　呆ける, which carries the meaning of "senility" or "air headed-ness," and is reflected in this performer's tendency for misinterpretation and forgetfulness. The boke is the "simple-minded" member of an owarai kombi ("tsukkomi and boke", or vice versa) that receives most of the verbal and physical abuse from the "smart" tsukkomi because of the boke's misunderstandings and slip-ups. The tsukkomi (突っ込み) refers to the role the second comedian plays in "butting in" and correcting the boke's errors. It is common for tsukkomi to berate boke and hit them on the head with a swift smack; traditionally, tsukkomi often carried a fan as a multi-purpose prop, one of the uses for which was to hit the boke with. Boke and tsukkomi are loosely equivalent to the roles of "funny man" or "comic" (boke) and "straight man" (tsukkomi) in the comedy duos of western culture. Outside of owarai, boke is sometimes used in common speech as an insult, similar to "idiot" in English, or baka in Japanese.

tsukkomi

 From the verb tsukkomu (突っ込む), meaning something like "butt in", this is often the role of the partner to the boke in an owarai kombi. The tsukkomi is generally the smarter and more reasonable of the unit, and will criticize, verbally and physically abuse, and generally rail at the boke for their mistakes and exaggerations. A typical tsukkomi often slaps the boke on the back of the head, an action always accompanied by an intentionally cheesy slapping sound effect.

source: wikipedia

alright, today I have a really weird and funny dream. It is related to the statement above. It's hard to explain but it start like this;


Me: hmm? where am i?

You are entering the dream world where you have the ability to interfere inside your dream.

Me: oh really? that's interesting.

once upon a time, there's a hero

Me: Ok, good start.

Who's his deadly weapon is Plasticine

Me: WHAT!? Ok, go on.

One day he entered a village,

Villagers: help! our village is raided by thieves!!

Hero: leave it to me!!

And he make a house with his Plasticine!!

Me: WHY A HOUSE!!!!???? WHERE'S SWORD AND SUCH!!!

And two thieves come toward the hero with their Plasticine castle 

Me: this is maddening... what am I dreaming...

Thieves: we have come to take your belonging's. Surrender or we make bigger castle!!

Me: no, that can't even be considered as a threat.

PRAK KRAK KRAK

Suddenly, the castle's wall is broken.

Thieves: No way! who broke our impenetrable wall!!??

Me: that 'impenetrable' is made of Plasticine....

The hero come while destroying the wall with his Plasticine house

Me: well, at least it has function.

Hero: I have come to take all of your Plasticine

Me: wait a minute!! you don't come to save the villagers!!!

Thieves: hmph! why you want to take our Plasticine?

And the hero shows his Plasticine 

Thieves: (gasp!!) you want to summon the legendary?!!

Me: .....

Thieves: very well, but you have to defeat us to get it! and if we lose, we will stop being thieves and wear woman clothes out of shame!

Me: Why are you making that kind of rules? doesn't that shows that you want to do that?

Hero: HERE I COME!!!

Thieves: OOHHH!!!

AND BOTH OF THEM FIGHTING BY MAKING THE BEST PLASTICINE SHAPE EVER!!!

Me: THIS FIGHTING IS TOO PEACEFUL!!! LET ME OUT!!! I WANT TO WAKE UP!!!

Thieves: FINISHED!!!

and they showed their same building with the fixed wall

Me: you just repair the castle!!! you're not build another thing!!!

But the hero does not falter, instead he shows his legendary skills with his plasticine

Thieves: OOOHHH!!! THIS IS LEGENDARY!!

Me:

 

WHAT THE HECK!!! WHY IS THIS IN MOSAIC!!!!

Due to the copyright law, this is not allowed to show

Me: What!? this is dream world!! who cares about copyright!!

and the story continues

Me: ANSWER ME!!!

Thieves: we have lost....

Hero: now give me your Plasticine.

and they handed the Plasticine

The Hero gather the Plasticine together

the storm come, forming a hole beneath the sky!

In that moment, the LEGENDARY PLASTICINE APPEARED!!

Hero: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Me: HE DISAPPOINTED????!!!

Hero: WHERE'S CHIKUCHIKU WAWA?????!!!!

Me: WHAT IS THAT THING????!!!

Thieves: now that we have seen that legendary Plasticine, we will keep our oath.

and they fades away....

Me: finally.

And appear back

Me: OH COME ON!!!

But this time they become thieves while wearing woman clothes

Thieves: we have come to take your belonging's. Surrender or we make another castle!!

Me: CAN'T YOU MAKE SOMETHING OTHER THAN CASTLE!!!?

but the hero come, holding the legendary Plasticine!!!

Me: this is getting ridiculous....

Thieves: so you come!

Hero: I want chikuchiku wawa.

Me: then why you come?!

Hero: HERE I COME!!!

Thieves: OOOHHH!!!

Me: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

      Oh? finally i awake.